We have many songs, poems, and analogies in life that compare doing something big to “the deep end”. Even Lady GaGa and Bradley Cooper wrote a pretty great song about it. (Check it out here)
Here’s the thing about the deep end. We all want to take a chance, but when the waters get rough, we start longing for the familiarity of the shallows. We have this idea that by taking a huge risk we are going to be rewarded with smooth sailing. Think about how often you’ve done this in your own life. If anything, we should expect bigger waves when we go further out. (cue in Jaws, "I think we're going to need a bigger boat." Sorry, had to go there)
Why is it that when people take a chance and it doesn’t go as planned, they swim back to the shallows and refuse to immediately go back out again?
In my twenty-eight years I’ve lived so far, here’s what I do know. Miracles happen when you wait in the deep end, even if you’re treading water for a while until you’re exhausted. It will happen. And while you’re out there, you’ll learn a lot about yourself.
But many people give up on themselves too soon. They don’t want to be the first one to try a new parenting technique, do something they’ve always wanted to alone, or be the first one to be vulnerable. They want to take a risk but keeping waiting for the green light or the conditions to be perfect to do so. And instead people spend entirely too much time sacrificing something great for something good enough.
And we’ve all been there at some point too. So, if you can relate right now, here are some important reminders for you to get back out there.
1. When your relationship, job, faith, family etc. gets tough, it’s not a sign that you’re doing it wrong. These intimate, intricate aspects of life are toughest when you’re doing them right – when you’re dedicating time, having the tough conversations, and making daily sacrifices.
2. On particularly hard days when you feel that you can’t endure, remind yourself that your track record for getting through hard days is 100% so far.
3. Have a little faith that the universe has a plan for you, and it’s all being revealed in the right time frame. Something you will eventually learn through all your ups and downs is that there are really no wrong decisions in life, just choices that will take your life down different paths. Sometimes you must hurt in order to grow or lose in order to gain. Sometimes the lesson you need most can only be learned through a little pain.
4. No matter what’s happening, you CAN efficiently fight the battles of today. It’s only when you add the battles of those two relentless eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, that life gets overwhelmingly complicated.
5. Don’t worry about mistakes and failures, worry about what you’re giving up when you don’t even try.
6. Making mistakes means you’re actually DOING something in the real world and learning from it. Listening or reading (as much as I love both) is often just listening or reading. It’s not real learning. Real learning comes from making mistakes. And mistakes come from gradual implementation.
7. If you never go after it again, you’ll never have it. If you never ask again, the answer will always be no. If you never step forward again, you’re stuck right where you are.
8. If you’re still sitting there thinking, “Things should be different right now,” take a deep breath. That’s not true and you know it. Because if it were true, things would be different right now. Stay present and focus on what you can create today. And tomorrow will reveal itself exactly as it should, just as yesterday already has.
XX,
Hoots