Take Time to Be Still

Life keeps leading us on journeys we would never go on if it were up to us. Don’t be afraid.  Have faith.  Find the lessons.  Trust the journey today.

“You need to learn to be still and rest.”

Such was phrase told numerous times to me over the course of the last month. It’s true. I’m not the best at recovering, being still, turning my brain off, or slowing down in general. But every time I’ve gone through periods of forced rest, I’ve made major life changes. Call it ‘Spring cleaning’ of the less than stellar things in my life.

I’ve often wondered why this happens and believe the answer is tied into my physical activity. While exercise is one of the greatest pleasures in the world to me, it also has a certain numbing effect. I can handle much more stress when I’m training due to the endorphin release it provides. Big issues don’t seem as big. Miserable jobs don’t seem as miserable. And bad behavior seems more tolerable. But when the ability to retreat into my own pain cave to hide from life’s stresses gets taken away, I’m forced to face each issue head on…on the couch…going nowhere fast.

But it’s a blessing if you learn how to use it.

It’s within this period of stagnation that your best (and most painful) self-reflection occurs and new ideas are born. You are able to learn more about your own unique needs. And these deep rooted needs are buried below the noise of daily life, below ego, below fear, below the pressures and norms that we face in society… and thus, they are rarely addressed.

Before being involved in a bike crash that led to this recovery mode, I was dealing with a major stress in life. I kept telling myself that it wasn’t a big deal, but my body was displaying all of the signs. My psoriasis hit an all-time worst, I developed an ulcer, and each morning I woke up feeling exhausted even after eight hours of rest. I blamed it on other things and did my best to avoid having confront the obvious truth: I needed to let go.

Most of the things we desperately try to hold on to, as if they’re real, solid, everlasting fixtures in our lives, aren’t really there at all.  Or if they are there in some form, they’re changing, fluid, impermanent, or simply imagined in our minds.

Life gets a lot easier to deal with when we understand this. And I did let go. And overnight, my life changed. I began feeling energetic and creative again. It was as if the stress had suddenly vanished.

And no, it’s not easy.  One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go—whether it’s guilt, anger, fear of the unknown, love or loss.  Change is never easy—you fight to hold on and you fight to let go.  But letting go is oftentimes the healthiest path forward.  It clears out toxic attachments from the past and paves the way to make the most positive use of the present.

Some things in life are worth changing and controlling. Most things are not.

Let that sink in for a moment.

One of the most important abilities you can develop in life is the willingness to accept and grow through times of difficulty and discomfort. Because the best things are often hard to come by and emotionally taxing. If you get good at struggling forward and doing hard things, you can do almost anything you put your mind to.

In the end, your goal shouldn’t be to seek a perfect and pain-free life, but to live an imperfect and sometimes painful one in radical amazement. To get up every morning and take a good look around in a way that takes nothing for granted. Everything is extraordinary in its own right. Every day is a gift. Never treat your moments casually.

I challenge you with this. If something is bothering you, take a weekend to be still and reflect. Stop running from it. Stop numbing it with distractions. Your body knows when something is not right in your life and will try to talk to you. Each day you continue to say yes to stress, you’re saying you deserve less than the best. Be okay with letting go, feeling discomfort, and making change. Your future self will thank you.